There's a thin line between love and murder. If you are lying beside my snoring husband then this is even more real. It starts out slow, like a low buzz and then picks up momentum like a Leigh Land truck or a freight train bearing down on you. When a gentle toss doesn’t work, I elbow him. This may prompt him to turn on his side for a few precious moments of silence. But then it starts again!
I often sit up in bed contemplating my options: Divorce? Could snoring properly be described as irreconcilable differences? After all, I cannot sleep! Admittedly, I have even considered smothering him with the pillow, but I could just see the news headline -- Woman smothers husband to death for snoring. So, I mostly resort to our trusty sofa with my pillow.
[I would insert one of the many recordings that I have captured of my husband’s snoring, but I would really like to stay married. Therefore, your imagination will just have to do]
No matter how much you love your partner, there is no pussyfooting around it, snoring is a huge problem that can have a disastrous effect on couples. There is never a great solution, for one person must be awake in order for the other to sleep. You simply can't command a person to stop snoring! They have no more control over this than you have over your own breathing.
We have tried all sorts of remedies. Thankfully, I don’t live in USA because every time I watch an infomercial, I am ready to grab my credit card to try the latest invention. By the way, those Breathe Right strips don't work (at least not for us).
My hubby has been really sweet in his attempt to address this problem. He often stays awake so that I can go to sleep, and always offers to take the couch. But we both love to cuddle, so clearly that is not a tenable situation.
I started to research and found that some women resort to sleeping pills in order to share the same bed with a snoring mate. The problem is I am too paranoid to take sleeping pills -- my house burnt down in the middle of the night when I was five years old. If it wasn't for light sleeping, my mom and I would be dead -- so that is not an option. Some women even wear the same ear plugs used at a firing range, while other couples permanently sleep in separate bedrooms. None of the above will fly with me.
After more research (Google) I became really worried. It's not just the freight train sounds and the sleep deprivation, but my husband's snoring could be a serious health problem.
I discovered that there was an even more serious condition called sleep apnea. I won’t try to get too technical, but basically, this is a sleep disorder that is characterised by a few seconds of pausing in one’s breathing, or really shallow breathing while you sleep.
This is no joke.
Imagine your hubby asleep beside you and then he just stops breathing. Literally... for a few seconds ... silence. He gasps for air and jumps out of his sleep completely oblivious to what jolted him awake, or because you are shaking him in sheer panic. This is often the scene at our home.
The side effects of this thing (sleep apnea) are also pretty serious, and are a real cause for concern. They range from:
- high blood pressure
- stroke
- heart failure (irregular heartbeats and heart attacks)
- diabetes
- depression
to DEATH. Yes, they are people who have died in their sleep because of this condition.
So, now my anxiety level has gone through the roof, and instead of running off to the sofa, I lie awake watching my hubby for signs that he has stopped breathing.
I’m no doctor so it may all be much ado about nothing. But one thing is for sure: snoring is not healthy, and it requires some proactive action on our part, because I don’t intend to lose my husband anytime soon... well let me think about that for a minute 🙂
I actually know a woman who was in a sleep study for it. They had to perform a certain surgery to open up her airway a bit more which allowed her to breather better. It is a scary thought though, but her husband was right by her side and was glad she did it.
Lol! O’Neil, I feel her pain!
Hmmm…I too have been nudged, elbowed and got my nostrils squeezed…LOL. My girlfriend told me that sometimes during sleep I would grab her and pull her tightly towards me with such aggression that she wonders if I am really asleep (we both love to cuddle so she stays put) to which I have no knowledge of this so I’m sure i have been knocked out. So in all fairness, she blames my job (Soldier) for my aggressive nature to which we laugh wholeheartedly.
i dont know which is worst snoring or talking in sleep my hubby does both and it annoys me when i hear him snoring i would touch him and tell him to turn on his side but to be sleeping and hear a big shout scare the hell out of me every thing my hubby does in the day i hear it at nights in his sleep so he dont cheat as i hear him sweet mouthing someone in his sleep he even call her name so woke him same time and tell him but its not the first i hope there is a cure for these things tho.
Lol! That would be great for me! Oh what lovely blog stories I would have!
Let me tell, i suffered with this for years! i had to go the earplugs (swimmers plug) route.. but they didn’t block the noise enough. so one of us had to take up our space on the couch or i would put my head at the bottom of the bed and have the fan right at my ears and focus on the noise of the fan.
I also read up on the sleep apnea and got paranoid… i still watch him sleep and worry about it.
“if she never know Jesus she woulda run wey lef mi ina the house” lol OMG….I dont know how my mother put up with her late husband’s snoring (he died of completely different reasons btw). I’m three rooms away and I WOULD WAKE UP by the snoring OMG it was ridiculous….I think she deserve a medal for that. Good luck finding a cure.
its funny one doc diagnose me to have the very same thing even though i removed my adenoids around age five, i remember my grandma saying “if she never know Jesus she woulda run wey lef mi ina the house” thats how loud i was. sometimes my love ones would watch me sleep, they say it seems like i stop breathing for a while then i gasp for breath (but i wouldnt know).
Lol! I love your grandma!
I sometimes would just hold his nose, no I’m not evil, it brings about results. I agree they definitely need to do more research and come up with some solutions fast.
Haha! @ Pat, true!
My dear I feel your pain. This is very informative and very alarming as I have a friend that snores terrible and he also has sinusitis; which means he can check an ENT Specialist who might be able to help him.
As someone who is also a very light sleeper…i feel your pain. Try practicing falling asleep in noise. Wait until you’re really really tired and turn on the radio…trust me, if you slept through Avengers (yes I remember lol), you’ll fall asleep. After a while your body will get used to only waking when the environment in which you fell asleep is disturbed, so you let him go to sleep first and get his snoring on, then you fall asleep in the snoring, and in the event he stops snoring (maybe because he stopped breathing) you will wake up because the noise stopped and then you can panic…or give him cpr lol.
Maybe you can try getting some opinions from an ENT Specialist – I had the snoring problem for sure. However, I also had sinus issues which was serious enough to prompt a turbinectomy and tonsillectomy surgery….good thing I got my snoring cured in the process.
Sleep apnea is nothing to joke with. I have a family member who suffered from it…fortunately we caught it in time and surgery was done….no issues now.
I agree Janis.
This article was sort of funny for a minute. But dealing with someone with a snoring issue is kind of on the serious note. Maybe you need to resort to going to a medical specialist who deals with that type of disorder.there are number of reasons why someone snores. One can be that the nasal airways can be partially blocked, or the individual has a deviated septum or nasal polyps.both of these can cause an obstruction that leads to snoring. It’s a lot of different things that can cause a person to snore so the best thing to do. Is have a physical examination done.