If you are moving in together or you just got hitched, brace yourself for a few surprising, or hugely annoying things about your mate that will drive you nuts.
I am still struggling to understand how does one simply walk out of their clothes, leaving them strewn along the floor like the breadcrumbs of Hansen and Gretel? Why do men never seem to choose to lie on the bed until right after you are done tucking corners and fluffing pillows? And, do not get me started on the perpetual habit of leaving the toilet seat up!
Arrrgghhhhh!
Visiting Girlfriend
For those of us who are over what I call the 'visiting girlfriend' phase, it can be a wee bit frustrating. The visiting girlfriend is excited to show off her domestic skills: you make the bed, wash the dishes, clean his crib, and you act like you really enjoy doing it! And perhaps, you might even enjoy doing these chores. After all, you only play the role every once in a while.
I promise, I'll always look sexy doing chores.
Not so enjoyable when you live together and it becomes an everyday ritual!
So this got me thinking, are we women enablers?
A study conducted in Britain revealed that one in every six men admitted that he washed the dishes poorly, because he didn’t want to be bothered about doing them anymore.
It’s all an act ladies! Our men know that if they do a piss-poor job at any chore, chances are, we are going to do it ourselves. Better yet, we are not going to ask them to do it again!
Fun fact: if a man knows that you’re going to clean up his mess despite your ranting, he has no issues tuning you out while patiently waiting for you to get the job done.
But, are men really a mess or are they just wired differently?
Case in point: If I get home at 12 midnight and the apartment is a mess, I'm probably not going to sleep until I can get it in some semblance of order. My hubby will look at me like a crazy person, shake his head in bewilderment, then go right to sleep like a baby -- as long as he finds a spot on the bed.
Most men simply don't focus on chores such as cleaning the house, spreading the bed or washing dishes. While they do like to see a tidy home, they aren’t wasting brain cells trying figure out how and when to get it done. All the things that we are particular about -- the clothes on the floor instead of in the laundry basket, replacing the toilet tissue and emptying the garbage -- are just not on their radar.
And, it’s not just because they are lazy (or nasty), it’s just not a priority in a man’s world. I bet you a hundred bucks that whenever you do see a man scurrying to get his place in order, it’s probably because he is bringing by some girl who he is trying to impress, usually for the first time.
So what’s the solution?
According to British experts, “If household duty becomes a part of the daily routine of each partner... the reasons for arguing in a British family will decrease.” I think I can safely say this applies to all families. But, how do we get our men to take on their fair share of domestic chores?
Instead of fussing, ask nicely. Tempt him with a little reward if necessary. Negotiate: if he washes the dishes, he gets to watch football in peace for the rest of the evening. (This is totally not my idea. I read this in Steve Harvey’s book. Men, apparently love to be rewarded.) Whatever you do, don’t nag and don’t berate him; he’ll just bolt.
Admittedly, I’m still a novice at this.
Well for me I was lucky when I found a man that loves to clean cook and do it all well good as a woman does he even go down on his knees and clean. He does real good at everything he do and I loved that about him. He is a clean neat freak at times I’d say he has OCD. some men on the other hand them woman wud cuss all day. Just by the way they are lazy,nasty, slappy tidy and untidy. I cud not live with that.
@ O’Neil Lol! I’m sure she appreciates it!
Love this one Lecia. And it is so very true. My BF will admit he’s messy, and I will admit I am wired with a very short fuse 🙂 But since we don’t live together, I’m still not “cultured” into making much over these things…as yet.
There will come a time! And when it does please share!
(I bet you 10 bucks that whenever you do see a man scurrying to get his place in order, it’s probably because there is a wife or girlfriend a few minutes away who will blow a fuse if she comes home to the mess he which he has been relishing.) Oh yes, I am a victim to this but I am also thoughtful enough to always lower the toilet seat and even though I hate household chores, i have no complaints in doing them as I realize it takes two to tango.
definetely no helpers
Without our helper I would die! Lol!
I enjoyed this one too Lecia but can not say same of my BF. He is pretty unusual. Never leaves the toilet seat up, replaces tissue all the time, washes the breakfast plates while I take the extra hour to get out of the house, irons, washes cleans, folds laundry everything. He has no reason to impress me, we have been living together for a while. So instead of me being annoyed with him for being messy, he annoys the hell out of me in a good way. He shows me up all the time and secretly me jus kmt sometimes.Today I left a pile of laundry to be folded and when I got in it was all done and placed in the correct drawers, and to make imatters worse he washed and made dinner.I also know that in the morning he will iron all the uniforms so I can hardly use the excuse of not having any time. Believe me he does not pressure me, he just does it even to please me sometimes and that makes me feel worse. When he does home duties they are well done so I don’t need to be checking etc. Am not saying am untidy BUT….He sounds like a stay at home guy but no way….. Works in media so just imagine the pressure of getting pieces ready for television,plays football, League basketball for the top team in NBL( trains three times per week) and persuing a degree full time at one of the local uni . In all this am saying it can be frustrating when you have a Mr Clean too. So what i do I just relax and chat on Fb etc. When he’s soon to be in from school or training I jus grab the mop and work magic that way everybody is happy. P.S. Love You Dwayne> You fill the gaps all the time.
Sounds like you have a keeper!!!!!! I love it!
Question: What if it is the other way around? What if the man is the neat freak and the woman is wired differently as the messy kind? Not saying I am that way but of all the chores I HATE doing the laundry!!!! All that folding in the heat is just ridiculous! I hate being hot and sweaty (only certain instances are acceptable ☺) and the heat the dryer generates is not my friend. My boyfriend on the other hand waits on me hand and foot. He tries to spoil me by cleaning the shower and doing the mopping because of my lower back issues. He will help with the laundry just because he knows I HATE it. But the sad thing is that I cannot leave him to do the chores by himself because I feel he will not do my way or do it correctly. Once I left the mopping to him and when he reached the verandah, not only had he destroyed my mop because it was a bit too fancy and he didn’t know how to use it, but he was also using the indoors mop to clean the dirty, dusty verandah. I am very particular and I have an inside mop and an outside mop as well as an inside broom and an outside broom. To him a broom is a broom and a mop is a mop!!!!!
True very true but that’s a whole new discuSsion…that falls under the topic of why many marriages end in divorce…the great pretenders. Clearly that’s not the man you chose to marry….just like the women who pretend to be who they really aren’t until they get the ring. It is important for there to be 100% visibility and comfort in one’s own skin from dating for transition to marriage to be smooth. The moment a party wasn’t being 100% themself dating as far as I see it problems are bound to arise when they get comfy married and start showing up true “colors”… After all thats not the person u chose to marry right? Its some of these simple things that cannot be tolerated causing divorces…
My take….Don’t be bothered by something you enthusiastically did before. Nip it in the bud before marriage ….marriage is lifetime. If you never tried to resolve it before you said “I Do” it means it’s accepted so after “I Do” don’t make it a problem 🙂
You also have another side to this though Roxanne that my friend pointed out of FB. There are some men who appear to be neat and tidy when courting, that is while living on their own but as soon as you either move in together or get married they develop amnesia!