My hubby and I...totally committed
Don’t get it twisted. Getting married or having a wedding is no true indication of commitment. Well yes, it may be commitment in the sense that he has decided to spend his life with you (or for as long as you both can stand each other), make you the mother of his children and share his home. But is he truly committed?
I have known quite a few men who have actually tried to pick up women at their own weddings (this does not include my hubby... I hope) without skipping a beat! So are they truly committed, or have they simply decided to gamble in their best interest?
Simply put, do men view commitment differently from women?
At some stage every man (well most) comes to the realisation that he needs a strong woman, a wife, by his side. Ultimately, a man will decide to wed the woman with the least drama, who seems truly committed and supportive, will play a key role in helping him to achieve, and even surpass his goals. It doesn’t hurt if she’s easy on the eyes, conservative enough to take home to mama, sexy enough to make his friends green with envy and brilliant enough impress his business associates.
The home that he creates with this woman is his Kingdom. Sure, he may be committed to maintaining his kingdom, but does this mean he is any less committed to playing the field?
What does commitment mean for a woman?
We all secretly wish that our man has eyes for no other woman but us! Rihanna puts it well: every girl wants to feel like “she’s the only girl in the world”. Granted, if you are a realist, you will know that this is not the case. In fact, there are millions of drop dead, gorgeous women in the world who can easily get a man’s heart and “head” pumping.
Gorgeous women - the reason my hubby keeps going back to carnival!
So what can we hope for?
I hope for a husband who loves and respects me enough to stay truly committed. No, I don’t expect him to suddenly stop gawking at other beautiful women, and only have eyes for me. But yes, I do hope that in his gawking he recognises that he too has a beautiful woman who loves him dearly, and will stand by his side as his life partner. This realisation should outweigh his desire to mess up for a momentary release.
If he is able to truly understand the consequences of messing up a great relationship, then perhaps, it is just enough to keep him on track...committed even.
Better yet, what does commitment mean for you?
Committments like these are life time promises that are renewed every day. Its not that it is tedious in any kind of way, its just that it a constant reminder to yourself of the vow you have taken to another person. This committed deals with also matters of the heart and soul and not just body………Simply put “this is serious stuff”
Agreed!
Lecia, you are truly an inspiration to us newlyweds (just 3 weeks). I liken you to the very relatable character of Carri in “Sex and City”…..ok scratch that. You are much better than her!! Keep it up!!
Commitment for me is more than monogamy. It is also extends to loyalty to our individual dreams, where my purpose becomes your purpose vice versa. It is holding each others hand every step of the way, through all things.
Thanks Tanesha!!!! I like your take on commitment!
Beautifully said Caleen!
My girl again mi is loving the blogs keep them coming. Now to answer your question, commitment for me (in man woman relationship) is HONORING what you say you feel for each other and respecting the AGREED UPON parameters. Having done the marriage bit I have come into the realization that it takes a level of personal growth and development for an individual to come into the understanding of the word commitment. Sadly alot of persons enter into marriage with no TRUE definition of the word. Most marriage vows talk about fidelity and hanging in there with each other till death; however when we take a look at the divorce stats (mi self included) it begs the question amongst others, can two people stay committed to each for a protracted period of time whilst life is in session?
Whilst conducting a weekend seminar with my partner the meaning of the word commitment (for me) came to life. During our seminar we have a vegetarian diet going on. At the end of the second night we decided to go road and check out the place. We were all hungry and stopped at a shop that was advertising some delicious looking chicken. Truth be told they had other things for sale that we could have but alas, we was deading fi piece of the foul. I asked the attendant the cost and my partner who had expressed a deep abiding desire for foul said to me he will have something else. I stopped in confusion saying to him that as facilitators we don’t have to follow the diet slavishly ( iguess this was my Eve in the garden debut).
We stepped out of the shop and he said to me that he wanted the chicken with every fiber of his being however as one of the facilitators he had committed to the vegetarian diet for the weekend with the participants. Even though no one but me would know ( and i would not use it against him for as mentioned before i did want the foul) he said, he would know when he stood in-front the participants the next morning he would know that he was out integrity with his commitment.
This was a profound moment for me as i had always said to him that this is the reason i had never cheated in a relationship. How i looked at it is, there will always be some one finer with more money, a little more understanding and easier to talk to than my man however what i FEEL for him and our AGREED UPON parameters super cede the need for momentary gratification. The possibility existed that i could have satisfied my curiousity about joe and my man would not know BUT I WOULD AND THAT WOULD PUT ME OUT OF INTEGRITY.
The ever, ever question. What is it? Does it still exist? Does it exist amongst our generation? All we can do is hope and pray that as you’ve clearly stated it here Lec that as they gawk (which is completely permissible) that they realize where and when respect and recognition should kick in. Taking that step of commitment is a risk… but then again, there are no guarantees… you may just luck out or in 🙂
So the title of this post is misleading…it should be “Bucka, if you Eva!!!!!”
I notice how it doesn’t say that women would stop gawking at half naked men with their shirt off (and I would love for women to take off their shirt as well), do they realize all that shit soon turn into fat…bastards!!
But yeah…I still not sure what commitment means for women…if that just it….shame on you….( head in the sand ashamed)