I haven’t written a blog post in ages. After all, we are in the age of TikTok where most of you would rather watch 15-second dance videos than read a paragraph. But mostly, it’s because life has been… how do I put this in Gen Z lingo… “life-ing.”
And let’s be real, the online world is mostly a toxic waste dump.
But I’m not here to rant about that today. Nope, this one goes out to my fellow boss moms. To the career women and wives who’ve been grinding non-stop, feeling like hamsters on a treadmill with no exit in sight. Guess what?
You’re not alone.
Social media sells us lies. The office hype shots with #bossbitch hashtags, the carnival fun shots (guilty), the picture-perfect holidays (guilty again), the tricked-out family vacations (Okay, lock me up!) – it’s all a glossy illusion. Because let’s face it, life is messy and we're all surviving the boss mom struggles.
The worst thing you can say to me is, “But you make it all look so easy!”
No, sweetie. I’m barely treading water here, frantically kicking just to keep from drowning. The reality is, it’s not easy. There’s no balance. Something always gets sacrificed, and when you’re killing it in one area, you’re probably failing or barely scraping by in another.
It’s easy to toss around trendy hashtags and curate perfect shots, but who the heck is a #bossmom ? What does that even mean?
Are we going to talk about the guilt that gnaws at you when a category 4 hurricane is heading your way, and your nanny needs to get home, but you’ve got a mountain of work to finish before you can sign off?
The guilt you feel when your six-year-old gives you those puppy dog eyes begging you to stay home, or the pang that hits you every time you walk through the door to the wailing of your two-year-old. The fact that work is always with you swirling in your mind as you try to solve problems and process tasks, leaving you physically present but mentally absent.
The guilt when you almost miss your child’s big moment on stage because you’re digging through your phone for that crucial email. The sheer horror when a crisis at work sends your phone into a frenzy just as your two-year-old decides to have an epic meltdown, making you want to tap out.
The endless half-finished tasks waiting for your attention as you’re pulled in a million directions. The reality that no matter how rough your day has been, as soon as you walk through that door, you start another shift. Mommy mode activates, even when all you want is to lock yourself away and escape… from everyone.
The not-so-subtle resentment towards men, knowing that even the most involved dads aren’t juggling the “mundane” household details in their heads while they work – the field trips, the activity days, the groceries, figuring out what your picky eater will eat for lunch, the birthday party you missed, when is wear-blue-to-school day? (A real day that I forgot and there was a meltdown). All of it, routine and mundane, yet essential to keep the household running, right there in your mind as you juggle the next steps of a multimillion-dollar project.
The sting when your outspoken child blurts out, “You’re always working!” as you try to explain that those YouTube families frolicking in the videos she loves so much are actually "working". That’s how Adley and Ryan’s parents get paid, honey. And her cheeky but logical response, “Then why can’t we play and get paid too?”
The audacity of your husband to expect you to still be romantic and sexy after you’ve spent a full day grinding at work, then transforming into mommy mode, leaving you with an empty tank and only the desire to crash in bed before the cycle begins again.
You want me to do what? No Sir, I can barely move. It’s not fair, but what to do when it’s all you’ve got.
It’s all overwhelming, made even worse by those perfectly curated videos of women whipping up gourmet meals for their kids and husbands in spotless, five-star-hotel-like homes.
Like, who the fuck are you people, and when do you find the time to do all this? I’m logging out.
Over here, I’m triaging the chaos of my life like a doctor in an emergency room.
Does this need my attention right now?
Are you going to die?
No?
Then I’ll get back to you.
It’s not perfect, but it’s all I’ve got for now. So, if you’re feeling alone, you’re not.
Chao until… whenever.
Bwouy Lecia you hit all the nail dem ….. but I think you still get to wear the “Boss Mom” cap. For me… Not a wife yet, but with my 17 yr old son, my job, trying to navigate through this new school dating era while worrying I might end up in a nursing home alone when I retire 😅 it nuh pretty braba… the private mental conversations I have with myself sometimes, I might be certifiable 😃 nevertheless I’m enjoying your content as usual.
It’s been a long time! Glad to have you back . Another true and factual story. Being a woman is hard, being a mother and a wife is harder and challenging. We are indeed superwomen! Keep pushing!! I pray God gives you strength to navigate through the days.
Finally someone who is willing to speak the truth. Girl it’s hard being a good wife, great mom and an exceptional employee/boss. My girls are ten years apart and I am still struggling (by the way big mistakes with the age gap they don’t even like each other 90% of the times)
Love this. My children are now grown but I can identify with exactly what you have written. It’s not an easy job being a parent…..but it can be so rewarding….whether or not it goes the way we want it to. Keep writing I missed you!!
The last year has been a blur…I no longer have a nanny 😭 so my now 7 year old is with me at work, sometimes at odd hours on a school night. We’re up early again (well not really early) for school…and because I dont have the energy, we do take out…A LOT!!! My weekends are for extra work, washing, cleaning and more activities…this crap about balance is a farse…Oh and I was not prepared for 7…they’re like mini-teenagers 😭…mixed up moods, attittude, full of bite…🥴. Butttttt we move 🙄….thanks for this Lecia, at least I know I’m not the only going through whatever this phase of life is called 😄
I read this blog post and it resonated so much with me😭😩 I’ve just changed jobs with an 11 yr old living out of state. I cannot count the countless times I forgot to message her before school or check in after school to make sure all is well😩. Let’s not forget the guilt trip messages saying “mummy u forgot me today?” With a hasty response a whole hr later telling her “no baby….mummy will never forget u” because she will not care for the truth as much as she’ll understand it.
Planning vacations whilst still drowning in never ending deadlines with a pocket that seems stretched to the limit because you’re busy trying to make up for all the times u “forgot” or couldn’t be present!
Whilst daddy gets to swoop in and play superhero but also gets to say sweetheart I’m busy and it’s totally understood.
Oo and whilst we’re here….the endless times I had to answer a video call from her at work because if not I’ll never hear the end of it and she really wants to tell me about the shitty day she’s had but mummy is half listening and fully tapped out because she doesn’t have the capacity to manage a meltdown amidst her owns.
Trust me…..you’re seen and heard and it’s not easy. Like I need a manual to get through this but would I even have enough time to read it?😭😭
Same. Woosah!!
Let’s all gather here! We are so not OK!
Totally relatable as I’m locked in the bathroom on my lunch break (working from home) while my teen wails “I’m bored” after just waking up an hour ago.
P.S. I’m researching camps and the average weekly cost that I’m seeing is roughly $700 canadian (lunch not included).
Send help!
But lest we forget that this is “Mom-ing” or is it?
Thanks Lecia, this came at the right time. I have a million to do list running in my head, I just have to write them down as they come, it’s just too much. Not to mention they half finished task. But the kids man, it’s rough, I have below 5 and the mom guilt is real.