Back to school blues (Time waits on no man)

In exactly four days, all the fun and games of summer ends, and I begin a new school year. I’m estatic because it’s the final year of law school, yippee!  Five loooooong years!  If you think I’m happy, check with my brain! It has launched a revolution against the many episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians, Here comes Honey Boo Boo, Say Yes to the Dress and Real Housewives of every single county and city to which it has been subjected. Approximately half of my brain cells have been effectively euthanized.

Unlike my colleagues who were busy applying the law, engaging in our requisite in-service training (legal internship), I was busy doing things of a more personal nature. Like… planning a wedding, getting married, going on a honeymoon and developing this blog. Never mind, they’ll have the last laugh; not only will they be far more prepared for the new school year (just think, legal training vs Honey Boo Boo), but they’ll be gainfully employed while I intern next summer.

Five years ago back in 2007, a tragic family incident would change the way I looked at everything. My aunt whom I loved dearly suddenly passed away. She died of an aneurysm. My very small and close-knit family was devastated. The most profound thing from my aunt’s death was this: in the very year that she died, May 8, 2007, she had planned to resign from one of her two nursing jobs in order to enjoy the fruits of all her hard work. This resignation was supposed to take place on her birthday June 28. She didn’t live to see that day.

As I looked at her lifeless body, it hit me that time truly waits on no man. Life doesn’t always cooperate, and even well laid plans go awry. I had a sudden sense of urgency to get going; to stop procrastinating and strive for the goals I seemed to have forgotten about. The questions danced around in my head: what was I waiting for to start law school? Hasn’t it always been my dream?

Before then, I had a hundred reasons (not excuses, mind you) of why law school was not feasible. I didn’t have the money. I couldn’t very well just get up and go to Barbados. Who would take care of me? It would be grossly unfair to ask my mom to fund law school after already funding a first degree. I rationalized that a Master’s was much cheaper and would take way less time. My aunt’s death changed that. It dawned on me that I was merely finding excuses to opt out of pursuing my dream.

In July of the same year, I enrolled in University of London’s programme which enabled me to work and attend school full-time. In August of the following year, I reconnected with my hubby whose support of my dreams can only be compared to that of my mom’s.

Graduation day!

I reflect on the challenges of the three years it took to complete the Bachelor of Laws degree. Many of you can relate to working and going to school. The nights when you get home, and all you want to do is sleep, but there are books that won’t read themselves, and essays to be written. The moments when you feel like calling it quits, or wonder aloud why does life have to be so hard?

Two of those three years wreaked havoc on our relationship, yet strangely it also made it stronger. I moved to Montego Bay for work, while school and my hubby remained in Kingston. Those were my zombie years as everything was done on automation: drive to work Monday morning – go to work Monday to Friday – study after work – drive to Kingston Friday evening -- spend all day Saturday and Sunday in classes – squeeze in time to see hubby somewhere in between these session (lunch and after school, usually) – drive back to work Monday morning… and the cycle continued.

Engaged while I still lived in Montego Bay!

Miraculously our relationship survived… and Digicel amassed a small fortune from our romance.

Fast forward to last September when I was told that I had received a place at Norman Manley Law School. I was excited and paralyzed with fear all at the same time. For sure, I welcomed the fact that I was on the last leg of my journey to becoming an attorney, but I also shuddered and cringed at the thought of leaving my job and relying solely on the people I loved for support. As I mentioned in a previous blog post (Decisions you should make before you get married) discussions such as these are critical in order to bring your dreams to fruition; your spouse must be supportive of your goals.

You will also recall my fiercely independent streak. So as expected, I had many nightmares -- nights when I would jump out of my sleep awash with sweat, anxious as to what would happen to me if I moved to Kingston and our relationship went south! A long distance relationship was great, but could it stand the test of moving in together? To my hubby, the consummate problem solver, it was a no brainer. Along with my mom, he had devised a plan and there were no questions, I would just do it! In one month, I resigned my job and started law school.

One year later, we survived. In fact, we have more than survived, we are married! And I can say I am truly on the last leg. It hasn’t been all smooth sailing. There have been many hiccups along the way, and like everyone else, we have had moments where we struggled to keep it together – both financially and emotionally.

There is much to be said, however, for the power of two, and a partner who will move high waters to see you succeed; a partner who is willing to spend sleepless nights toiling with you, and who constantly reminds you that failure is not an option!

All geared up for what lies ahead!

A few weeks ago, author of Free and Laughing, Marguerite Orane, wrote a blog post entitled: How I got into Harvard Business School. Her simple response was “I applied”. The lesson? The same one that I learnt from my aunt’s death: Time waits on no man. If you want to achieve something, you must go for it! Stop making excuses, and stop putting it off. If you are with a partner that doesn’t support your dreams then maybe, just maybe, it's time to move on.