A week off being married – Carnival!

One month before Trinidad Carnival:

My seasonal gym husband kicks into high gear. Morn, noon and night, pumping iron in a futile attempt to seek the elusive 6 pack abs. Crash diet? You name it, he has tried it! Because, everybody knows that the one surefire way to attract women of every race, shape or colour gyrating on you at carnival is to have rock solid sexy abs. Or, you could have a professional camera but since he smashed that on our honey moon, it's back in search of the elusive abs. (Between you and I, it would be easier to just buy another camera).

"I must, I must, I must get abs"

Two weeks before carnival:

Reality sinks in and he realizes that not even the most pious fasting or even hitting the gym three times a day can do away with years of neglect in the midsection. So it's time to focus on the arms and shoulders. After all, what girl doesn't love a strong arm?

If you have a male friend (or hubby) who’s into Trinidad carnival you'll know it's the season of the superficial. It's all about the body! Why? Well, because Trinidad carnival is the ultimate hedonistic party for men. It’s all about fetes, sex, rum, music, scantily clad women... more music, rum; even more scantily clad women... party after party for 5 straight days. Whew!

Now contrast that with their normal lives: Work with fully clothed women, home with a fully clothed wife - well most of the times - chores, work, home, chores and more fully clothed women. You get the picture.

Even the most loving husband (or wife) will want to escape the monotony, if only for a short while. For my hubby, that escape is called Carnival or what I like to call "A week off from being married". It's a week away from "the wife" (that would be me, and by the way I hate that expression) to escape into the euphoric world of Trinidad carnival.

In the words of our friend - I will not call names but this site should give you a hint - who inducted my hubby into this ritual, "It’s the need to feel vibrant, desirable, energetic and young again." And young they do feel! Even when the knees are failing and the back is giving out, nothing will halt the mission for a good wine.

And how can you blame them? Jumping in bands with ratios of 3 women to 1 man; in a place where the blaring soca music is always pumping and rum flows freely as tantalizing women unabashedly gyrate in front of eager men ready to prance with wild eyes and tongues hanging out, like a panting dog. It’s truly a mad bull fever!

Who can resist this explosion of music, revelry and wicked abandon? Wife? What wife? For the week I'm pretty sure he doesn't remember that he is married. Phone calls are few and far in between except the occasional ring to say, "That. Was. The. Best. Party. Ever!" But since he has said this for the last four parties, I am still not sure which is THE best party. I could ask when he gets home but I am sure it will all be a blur. And then as if suddenly hit by a pang of guilt for all the fun he is having "I miss you baby, love you!" click the phone goes dead.

Do you really think he was missing me? *Rolls Eyes*

The trickery! "Miss me huh?" At what point did you miss me, pray tell? Was it at 3 a.m. in the middle of the cane fields under the cloak of darkness when the exhilarating soca tunes had you in a trance like frenzy as you spilled paint, oil, mud and powder over the half-naked bodies of sexy women? Or perhaps it was when you were playing mas with the thousands of spectacular, colourful barely clad revelers as you pranced in the streets and stage wining to the beats at fever pitch frenzy? Miss me? I think not!

That's a whole lot of missing me!

I scratch my head in bewilderment as I put down the phone. No hard feelings though for I am of the opinion that every man (and woman) no matter how hard you love deserve a week off from being married. For now, for me, that’s a week of doing school work (Damn you law school!) But really, nothing compares to my alone time; to laze in bed all day, catch up on all the latest reality shows - unbothered, to hang with the girls - unbothered , and to just enjoy my own space while catering to the needs of no one but me, myself and I. For my hubby that week off is Carnival.

What would you do with your week off?

Just in case you doubt me, see for yourself and read about a man's take on why you should go to carnival!