We’re Pregnant!

Well, to be factually correct and for those who may take offence, I’m pregnant! Or, if you prefer, we’re expecting!

I’ve been married for almost 5 years, and if you've read my blog posts you’ll know by now that I have no burning desire to have children. Quite frankly, this pregnancy is what us Jamaicans would call “buck up”. Despite all our excitement (read: fancy social media announcement), I’d be lying if I told you this baby was planned for or even thought of. As a matter of fact, it must have been conceived in one of those very routine, boring-married-people-sex-days because both Garfield and I are still trying to pinpoint the exact moment.

It was that uneventful. Because, well, married people sex isn’t always earth-shattering mind-blowing memorable sex. But I digress.

Since I was not planning on getting pregnant, I was almost midway through my first trimester before I even suspected I was pregnant.

And that my friends is frightening.

November

I thought I was on the brink of an honest-to-God nervous breakdown.

In November, Garfield did a Laparoscopic Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy and I was a basket case.  I was overwhelmed, tired, and extremely emotional. Of course, I thought it had everything to do with me being anxious about his surgery while hopelessly trying to balance the demands of work and catering to him.

Then the strangest things started happening to me:

I couldn't control my desire to sleep.

I was struggling to concentrate or stay alert at work.

So yes, I guzzled coffee, and more coffee chased with energy drink because I couldn't understand why I couldn't keep up.

But it only got worst.

I had to read a single document several times just to process it.

I was absent-minded. I kept forgetting stuff. Like to shut off my car. One day a co-worker had to disrupt a meeting to tell me my car engine was running. I had earlier returned from the hospital after checking in on Garfield and so it was running for over two hours.

I somehow managed to run over my own glasses. (I'm still without glasses, if anyone wants to buy me a pair).

I got so overwhelmed, I even wrote my boss an epistle of an email explaining how tired I was and how I was unable to cope with the pressure of work. Thankfully, he took it in really good spirit! I can laugh now, but at that very moment sitting in my office, I was sure I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

I kept guzzling coffee and energy drink because I had work to do. In late November, I attended the Jamaica Bar Association Conference and gobbled down wine (my poor alcoholic-hyperactive baby) like nobody’s business… because if you are going to spend the weekend surrounded by lawyers, you need alcohol to survive (#truestory).

And then there was this epic fight on the phone with my hubby who was sulking for being left alone so soon after his surgery. Let's just say I went off and if there is a lexicon for bad words, I may have exhausted it. I mean for someone who invented the silent treatment, I went off. My poor husband couldn’t help but wonder if I was possessed.

Not a proud moment 🙁

And then I hung up and bawled uncontrollably!

Curled up in my hotel room, not only was I on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I was also going bat shit crazy!  (This is it Lord. Someone will collect their 20 bucks and a tin of Milo by admitting me.)

On the final day of our conference, a colleague of mine cajoled me into taking a photo with another colleague’s baby, all the while teasing me that it was time to have my own baby. He even posted the photos on Facebook.

“What are you waiting on?” He asked.

I told him to go to hell.

But it didn’t stop there.

We returned to work and the unthinkable happened, I had a sudden and inexplicable aversion to coffee.

What sorcery is this? I thought for sure all the gods were against me! How could I possibly survive without caffeine in my blood? My very existence depends on coffee.

I tried forcing the coffee. I threw up. For the next few weeks, all I could have was soup. So every day, I drank soup while cursing the gods for turning coffee against me.

December

In December, I was still on an emotional roller coaster.

Missing my period in late November was not a huge concern because, to be quite frank, I have tons of health issues and I usually just wait for it to pop up at its own leisure. In fact, I  thought my swollen and very tender boobs were an indication of its impending arrival, and so, I walked around fully equipped.

But then I had full blown dropsy. And I still couldn’t drink coffee.

Eventually, I blurted out to my bestie at work, "No man something’s wrong! I can't be this tired for no reason!

Usually an early bird, I was now finding it difficult to get up in the mornings to get to work on time. Every day, I'd beg her to check in on me periodically to ensure I wasn't off in La La Land. I stopped lounging around in the lunch room and would hurriedly eat lunch (my soup) so I could snooze for at least half an hour. And boy, I couldn’t wait to escape the lunch room, as the food scents drove me crazy.

Until it became unbearable.

One day when Garfield came to drop off soup, (now my staple diet), I blurted out, and “I think I may be pregnant!”

His face broke into a smile. "Really? High Five!"

Grinning from ear to ear he handed me the soup.  “Don't worry. We'll be good!”

Soup in hand, I walked to the office wondering, did this man hear what I just said.

And then the rising panic: The hell! I can't be pregnant! I don't want a baby. I'm not ready for a baby! I can't with this. Not right now.

But what else could explain your strange and unusual behaviour? I was now talking to myself. Well at least you’re not going crazy. Hell, I’d prefer to go crazy! A baby will drive me crazy.

I tried to calm myself down. But then I heard a small voice, “Soooo… no coffee for the next 9 months?”  I almost passed out.

After work that same evening, we stopped by the pharmacy and my overly enthusiastic husband bought not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests!

"We have to know for sure!!" He replied, obviously reading the WTF look on my face.

I did the routine pee tests and like a perfectly coordinated symphony they all declared that I was pregnant (double lines and a bright red plus).

We're pregnant!!

He couldn’t contain himself!  Wth?! Where did my husband go? Isn't this the same man who told me (and repeated just a few days ago) that he really didn’t really care if he ever had kids. Why is he on the phone blabbing to his mom, his friends---

"Hello!!!! Please come off the phone and don’t tell nobody else! Not another soul!"

Meanwhile, I was trying to assess my own feelings: trepidation, anxiety, joy. A strange mix of all three?

I’ll grudgingly admit that Garfield’s enthusiasm was contagious. His response was a complete surprise, but seeing how happy he was made me warm up to the idea of being pregnant. Heck, I may even enjoy this, I began thinking to myself.

Until my small voice chimed in, “Calm down. Don’t get carried away. Enjoy is pushing it.”

I told three persons that night. First was my bestie at work who was just as anxious to hear the results of the tests. Actually, I think Garfield told her before I did. Then my mom, who was elated and may have even cried on the phone. And last, one of my girlfriends who had told me much, much earlier in the year that she saw the “aura of a baby around me” and she was sure I was going to be pregnant before the end of the year.

As soon as she answered the phone, I blurted out, "Do not ever tell me anything you envision, imagine or see!!! Ever! You hear mi woman!!! Thanks to you, I'm pregnant!” She was elated.

“See I told you!”

“Woman, just keep your predictions to yourself!”

Once I told my mom there was no turning back.

Wow. I’m pregnant.

But are you happy? (Enter nagging small voice)

Surprisingly, I was. Not the giddy kind of happiness of someone who has been planning or praying for a child. My happiness (or contentment may be a better word) was more like the relaxed comfort of knowing we could do this. I mean, we were married for almost 5 years.  Both of us have pretty decent jobs. We’ll be fine, right?

As if reading my thoughts, Garfield responded, "Don't panic Lecia, people with far less financial resources have children every day!"

“But we don't have the home I want and do you know how much babies cost and what if something goes wrong and –“

"Shhhh... you worry too much. We’ve got this. I’ve got you!" He pulls me closer to him, kisses me goodnight and falls asleep rubbing my tummy.

I pray a silent prayer of gratitude.

Ok, let's do this! But dear God, how am I going to get this man to zip it (read: not post on social media) until we are out of the first trimester.

Let’s chat!

How did you find out you were pregnant? Was it planned?

More of my adventure to come!

36 Responses

  1. Congrats Lecia!! Welcome to the world of Buck up Pregnancy indeed. I totally relate with what you went through. I was extremely sleepy and was in denial. My sister tried to convince me to do a pregnancy test and I refused for a good week or so. I finally gave in and bought a cheap test and when that showed positive I went and got 2 of the expensive ones and when that was positive as well I made an appointment to go see my ob and told him look do a blood test no more urine tests.I was 8 wks “knocked up”. I had no cravings really, in my 3rd trimester I wanted curry chicken and it had to be super spicy. Morning sickness not at all, more like all day sickness and for the entire pregnancy. My Lil one was determined to make sure that I had the summer I had been wanting for sometime. My meals consisted of water and tums anything else would have me bowing before the porcelain throne. Did I enjoy my pregnancy, heck no but I would not trade the experience for anything in the world. I am the happiest mom in the world. Enjoy the experience. You are gonna be an awesome mom! Oh I almost forgot it takes two, so Congrats to you as well Sir Garfield…you both will be just fine 🙂

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Congratulations Valisia! Thank you for sharing. I am trying to enjoy the experience as much as I can.

  2. Congratulations to you both! This was a good read and like you, I didn’t find out I was preggo until Midway of my first trimester while vacationing in NY. It was awful to say the least, every and anything got me off. Upon returning to work all I could tolerate was the good ole soup and salt(yes salt) lol. It was an emotional roller coaster pregnancy but nevertheless my bundle of joy was well worth it. Enjoy your journey and all the best xxx.

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank you for sharing Tasha!

  3. dwl @ my poor alcoholic-hyperactive baby
    You’ll be just fine!
    I found out when my face broke out terribly and I went and got drugged up from the dermatologist for a good month into my pregnancy lol

  4. Congratulations on the pregnancy and I wish you a safe and smooth delivery but I just want to say.. that vest your husband is wearing is hilarious. I really appreciate the creativity lol

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Lol! Thanks Jermaine!! I’ll tell him about the vest!

  5. Congratulations hun you will enjoy this journey I promise you. This is your opportunity to be grumpy for no reason and become the center of attention until the little bundle arrives lol. My daughter just celebrated her first birthday last Thursday and she definitely wasn’t planned but she is the best thing that has ever happened to both my partner and I. Hope u have a safe and easy journey. Safe landing when it comes.

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank you Chanette! I am learning to enjoy and embrace this experience.

  6. Lecia you can do this! I had all your symptoms (so far) and more!!! My buck ups baby is 5 months old and looking back on the beautiful chaos that is pregnancy it is awesome, and I mean that I am in awe when I realise what my body was capable of. Despite the appetite loss and its epic and I do mean EPIC return, the dropsy, the derailed trains of thought (that only happened when I was in the middle of important presentations or meetings) it was a wonderful experience. Just remember as previous persons have said:
    1. Everyone has an opinion and advice…. just smile and nod.
    2. Comparison is the thief of joy. We are all different and made to experience things differently.
    3. Rounding out your 2nd trimester into your 3rd… tek time with Garfield, him really nah go understand whats going on with you. You won’t either.
    4. Use the excuse of ‘hormones’ as much as you can because really and truly, its the hormones! Lol
    And lastly,
    5. Have lots of sex before your belly gets too big lol
    All the best.
    I’m looking forward to your blog about the ‘popcorn popping’ in your tummy or the ‘butterflies fluttering like crazy’ aka the first time you feel the little Taylor.
    Wishing you three an amazing and safe journey!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thanks Jodianne!! Sound tips! I can so relate to you losing your train of thought in the middle of a presentation or a conversation with a client. Taking this adventure in strides! Thank you so much for sharing.

  7. CONGRATULATIONS guys! Lecia, as mi granny seh “nutten happen before its time.” You guys are going to be fine and the best parents ever! I pray for you; good health throughout your pregnancy and that it transfers into the life of your newborn when that time comes.

    Savor every moment of your pregnancy (I remember I was pregnant at your wedding, sick like a dog edging down to near 104lbs but I wouldn’t have missed your wedding for nothing!) Follow your heart and do what makes you happy. We all will have great advice, (some not so great) but ultimately this is your story, so do it your way.

    I know we don’t talk or see each other much but thanks to you and Bucka for making me a part this milestone in your lives through your blog and other social media. Enjoy and when the baby arrives remember, the nights will be long but the years will fly by so treasure every moment!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Tamara!!! Thank you so much darling. Thank you for the tips hon. So funny, I didn’t even realise you were pregnant at pour wedding. The years really fly by quickly! Thank you too for being a friend and even though we don’t connect as much as we used, I love you sexy mama!

  8. Awww Congratulations to you both. I just love both of you spirits…..opposite really attracts. You will be fine…He is right. We will pray for a successful pregnancy period and labour.
    NB: you can really write…..it is so engaging from start to finish! Keep the blogs coming. Already looking for the next one after the 2 trimester

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank you so much Charmarley!!! I’ll try to keep them coming.

  9. You are such a great story teller!!! As promised on IG, I came here, read most of your blogs and enjoyed them all. One of my favorite is the cooking blog lol. I so appreciate you guys IG posts even more after reading these blogs. As I mentioned on IG, I too (like most families) had an unexpected/buckup pregnancy and like you guys, an uneventful night/day of marital love making left us completely bewildered on when conception took place. Worst, we went on vacation and for 5 days I drank (liquor) like a fish, experienced unexplained extreme fatigue, weeks later failed 2 separate pregnancy tests, before the doctor’s office confirmed what my annoying inner voice suspected, I was pregnant.

    I totally agree with your hubby, you guys will be fine. The reality is, kids don’t need a lot, just a lot of love; you guys will be AMAZING parents. Life has a way of humbling us all. I thought I was over the idea of having a little one (& my husband we done), now after having my baby girl (7 months old), I would love another so she can have a sibling close in age. It’s surreal how life can evolve in its own beautiful organic way. Enjoy it all, I’m sure you’ll find all the cool & info sites or ask when in doubt. Don’t pay attention to much chatter and those know-it-all folks; raise your baby the way you want, trust your judgment and your parental role models. I’m super excited to follow your journey. I’m convince after reading this blog, your baby is a perfect little gift God prepared for you guys and he/she will bring your marriage unbelievable and renewed closeness; a special joy you have not experienced thus far as a couple.

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      I’m so glad you stopped by Marva! I’m so glad you enjoyed reading my posts. Thank you for sharing your own baby journey. You are so right. life does have a way of taking you in its own direction. I’m still a little apprehensive, but now mostly excited for the future. Garfield and I have already grown closer so it can only get better!!! Thanks again for sharing and please keep reading!!

  10. Congrats!!! I love all your posts and the baby announcement is so creative. All the best for a safe pregnancy.!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank you Jodi!!

  11. Congrats on your pregnancy. I think you guys are going to be wonderful parents. I found out when my grandmother who had died ten years prior told me in my dream that I was pregnant because I looked way too pale. Just the thought of having a child scared me. I did a test the next morning because no way in hell could a dead woman be right about me having children. Afterall, I have never pictured myself ever having children (they make way too much unoise). furthermore I was still on my regular mens cycle. Turns out the dead woman was right. Wouldn’t do it again but I don’t regret this one 😊😊. Looking forward to your journey.

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      OMG!!! Now that’s a story!!! How long ago was this? Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading all these experiences.

  12. I just love you 2…well soon to be 3…Congrats guys.
    As said before every pregnancy is different my sister and I found out we were pregnant literally hrs apart and she was sick for as long as the pregnancy lasted while I had zero complaints, was a bubble of energy and literally just paraded around like I ruled the world. You’re now in the second trimester, they say it’s the easiest well for your sake I pray it’s smooth sailing from here on.
    Ohh btw GREAT POST!!!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thanks Keron!! I know, every woman seems to have a unique story to tell. It’s so amazing!

  13. I love your honesty, wit and bravery! Don’t worry you got this! I may just write about when we found out. I shared some of your sentiments!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thanks Kimmi!! You know I will be bugging the heck out of you for tips!

  14. Congratulations on your pregnancy Mr. & Mrs. Taylor!!!
    For me, I’m yet to experience to experience pregnancy.
    Another awesome read, I just love your blogs…keep ’em coming!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank you Colleen!I’m happy you enjoyed reading and I’m working on new content!

  15. Congratulations again to you both! Loved reading this post, kept me engaged from start to finish. I didn’t have the baby fever and never really knew when I would feel ready, but hubby was always ready so I set a date a year in advance when we would start trying. We were successful the third month we tried and he was elated. We found out pretty early that we were having twins and he was even more excited. I was just shocked and think I worried almost all the way throughout the pregnancy, whether we would be lucky enough to deliver both and not lose one. I didn’t really allow myself to enjoy the process as much as I could have due to feeling indifferent about being pregnant. So even if you don’t feel over the moon giddy about having a baby, find ways to treasure and relish the blessing and wonderment of growing this little one inside you and to bond early on. Lots of blessings to you on this journey. – Ren (@ketoinja on IG)

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank you for sharing! Twins!!! That must have been an adventure! I know the worry of hoping everything goes right for one much less two! I’m so happy for you. I’ll be sure to enjoy the process as much as it will allow me to. Thanks again!

  16. Congrats. Take my foolish advice workout and breastfeed!!!

  17. Ok so I cried a bit. I just love Bucka!! “High Five! We will be fine” Sweetest words ever!!! now the tears streaming down my face. lawd gad mi happy fi unnu.

    As for my experience…everything was planned…the date of the deed was discussed before hand and it just…happened. lolol.

    You will be fine…u got ur “village” ready and waiting with dribblers and pampers in hand!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Thank for the support Denneille!!!

  18. Finally the first blog!!!! First of all congrats…and welcome to the “buck up breed” clan…as two months your senior in this, I feel compelled to caution you about a few things:
    Everyone has an opinion about what you should and should not do…nothing wrong in getting advice but do what works for you…I’m realising more and more as I progress, that every woman is different. I was never sleepy, to this day I have no cravings, I’m a ball of energy, in fact life is normal except that I have a huge belly….which by the way popped up out of nowhere….after getting past the initial shock of my pregnancy, (and it took a while to sink in, like probably the entire 1st trimester) I just embraced the inevitable; my life is going to change FOREVER!

    Also you are pregnant not dying or disabled…as long as you have the energy just live…party if you feel like it…dance till your feet hurt (Hubby will more than gladly rub them) … if going to the beach is your thing do it as often as you can because this is the one time you don’t have to tuck in your belly to take pics in a swimsuit.

    Enjoy the attention…people seem to have a soft spot for pregnant women…even strangers will go out of their way to ensure you’re comfortable.

    Importantly…put those legal documents down, if only for an hour and consume your mind with literature on pregnancy and what to expect. Forget the old wives tales and focus on the facts..I also found a great app you can download to your phone or iPad….it’s the babycenter app, you get alerts each week, and it explains how your baby is developing through each stage.

    Oh and please don’t forget…Enjoy The Process!!! Can’t wait to read blog two…OMG WE’RE GOING TO BE MOMMIES!!!!!

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Janella!!! Mi say!!! Surprises everywhere! Thanks for the tips! I have an app called the Bump. It does the same as baby centre and keeps me posted on growth, foods to eat, etc. You are so right about every woman being different. I would kill for your energy. Mine is just now coming back, but I still feel like my brain isn’t quite here. I do feel a bit disabled at times but hey!!! I am trying to enjoy the process and thanks to Garfield I am (most of the times)! Yeah!!!!

      • You are experiencing ‘baby brain’ you will be forgetful for awhile my dear

  19. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Make sure to keep us up to date between bottles of the shenanigans of “3 The Hard Way” Taylor style!