Just Hitched Roundup: Flippant and inappropriate

Growing up Jordan

Potty mouth and potty time!

What’s one thing you may not know about me? I curse like a sailor's wife. Unfortunately, this doesn't go down so well when you have a toddler who is at the stage of repeating everything you say.

I’ve been forced to exercise great restraint and self-control around Jordan (you know like when my ultra-conservative Christian mom is around).

Last Sunday, I was in the kitchen preparing breakfast and a fork fell along with the meatiest piece of my saltfish. Without thinking, I blurted out, Shit!  Without skipping a beat, I heard a small voice behind me repeat, “Shit!” with just the right amount of exasperation.

Nothing is more shocking (and embarrassing) than hearing your own child blurt out a curse word you've just used. How do you reprimand them for repeating exactly what you just said?

Thankfully, I read a parenting article some time ago which recommended not creating a scene or making a fuss over a toddler saying a bad word. In summary, it's the attention that you give to the word (i.e. your surprised reaction) that will make the child want to keep repeating it.

So, I did just that. I simply said, "Oops. Sorry, Jordy, mommy shouldn't have said that. That's a bad word," and kept it moving. Thankfully, I haven't heard her repeat it…yet. But you know kids, I bet she's just waiting on the right time (read: in the presence of strangers, in a crowd or when mommy visits).

Just so you know, I'm already practising the feigned indignation with the most uptown accent I can summon for when she repeats profanities in public, “Like oh my goodness! Where could she have heard that?!”

From one potty to the next

I've just officially started potty training. So far, so good on the peeing but nothing on number 2. I mean, she happily runs to the potty to urinate but goes off in a corner to do number 2 or tells me after the fact.

Mamas, I'm taking notes on potty training. Drop your tips below!

Conversation Starters

"Big up unno bloodcl****t self!"

How to congratulate someone after they have announced a major achievement.

Or…

What to say when your boss announces that the company has met (or exceeded) its yearend target.

What?!

Edna Manley College had its graduation and its valedictorian, Waldene Walker, in closing, told the graduating class to “big up unuo bl***dc**t self!”

Oh no, he didn’t?

Oh, yes, he did! And now all of Jamaica is talking. Some are clutching pearls while others are lauding him for freedom of expression.

I don’t have to tell you where I stand. But come on, if this sort of expression is allowed in just one formal setting, it should be at Edna Manley College of the Visual and Performing Arts.

Pop Quiz!

What can you get with $130,000 per month?

"130 cafe lattes or a studio apartment…"

Just ask Mr Christopher Williams of Proven Management Limited.

Is anyone going to explain WTF is happening to the real estate market in St. Andrew? What on earth is expected of young and not so young professionals when a 2-bedroom unit is being sold for 40 Million Jamaican Dollars?

Let’s talk numbers: drop this is a mortgage calculator and you are paying over $250,000.00 per month and this may be much more depending on your age and the number of years you are given to repay.

And don't for one minute think that this price is only for the well sought-after location of New Kingston. Housing prices are ridiculously outrageous almost anywhere that’s safe and desirable for living in St. Andrew. 

While you are doing the math, let me add that according to Salaryexplorer, the average salary in Jamaica is approximately $144,851.00 JMD per month. Further, only just about 25% of the population are earning more than $402, 322.00 JMD per month. I know, I know, there are lots of unreported income which is not captured in the above statistics. But even so, please tell me who are buying these very expensive S.t Andrew apartments which are almost always sold out as soon as they are announced? 

Expats?

Investors?

The rich one per cent?

Who?

Those of us who are working our asses off to be able to purchase a home are making incredible sacrifices to do so. So, yes, Mr Williams, your comments were as you have described them, “flippant" and "inappropriate". I know a lot of frustrated young and not so young professionals who are more than perturbed at your suggestion that a little less coffee is all it takes to own a home... wait no, a studio apartment.

YouTube pick

I really, really wanted to dedicate this space to only positive things, but I accidentally bumped into this juicy piece of ratchetness that I must share with you all!

So, Spice has a new talk show, Spice It Up and she kicked it off with the topic “Tables Turn". As you may know, “Tables Turn” is one of her new songs which is about women reciprocating mostly the bad treatment or unreasonable requests they receive from men.

So, on the subject of Bun fi Bun, her guests, Donisha of Loud Fashion and Marlon Samuels, aka ‘the Icon’ were asked to give their views.

I won't say anymore, just watch. If you are super busy, go straight to the 2-minute mark and start watching.

All I'll say is big up yourself, Mr Samuels!

Podcast of the Week

If ratchetness is not your vibe, then here's some inspiration from Krystal Tomlinson. It’s an old episode of Good Gas Mondays, but as we come to the close of another year, I think the message is extremely timely.

5 ways to stop failing at life:

1. Stop asking for permission. Not everyone opinion counts and not everyone who counts has a sensible opinion.
2.  Make a plan. There is no example of excellence by someone who was just winging it. Make a strategic plan for growth.
3. Be ready to act. Get out of your head and stop victimizing yourself with reasons you are not ready yet.
4.  Ask, ask, ask. Ask for help from those who may have the resources you may need. The worst that can happen is they say no.
5.  Silence your inner critic. Learn to lift yourself up and silence your inner bully.
6. Whether for laughs or for inspiration, what podcasts and/or YouTube channels are you guys tuned into?

"This should never happen again"

The prime minister on the completely avoidable death of 7-year-old Benjamin Bair who was crushed to death by an unmanned garbage truck at the Clan Carthy Primary School.

Receiving news of the death of your child is every parent’s worst nightmare, especially under such tragic circumstances.  The PM has promised stronger vetting of contractors, no picking up of garbage during school hours and other measures to help protect our children. Let's hope that this is not just talk.

To the family of Benjamin Bair, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Walk good until next week my loves!