Those of you who follow my blog will know that we had KFC for dinner last Christmas (2013 Christmas). Well, this Christmas (2014), I figured I may as well bite the bullet and prepare a meal, especially since it has become somewhat of a custom for hubby to work on Christmas day. Honestly, I would much rather abandon him (as I did when I was his girlfriend) to head home for holiday meals with my mom. But, that wouldn’t make me a good wife now, would it? And I’m pretty sure mommy would send me right back home…hopefully, after being fed.
I was also feeling a wee bit guilty about last year, which only got worst after running into one of his colleagues at a social event in late November. He was raving about my blog posts when he blurted out before his wife:
“Lecia, I really love your blogs but that one about KFC for Christmas dinner though, mi no sure mi could deal with that.”
Sweet baby Jesus, OK, fine! I get it. I should really be ashamed for feeding my husband KFC on Christmas day. I guess my rejection of stereotypical gender roles was no match for my nagging conscience and so I caved.
As we drove home that night, I decided that I was going to make up for last year and cook a hearty Christmas meal. After all, I can cook. As a little girl, I actually loved cooking and would often create my own recipes. But I grew up and discovered restaurants.
Now, one of the worst things you can do is share an idea with my husband for no matter how small he will transform it into grand master plan. And it was no less with this Christmas dinner. What I envisioned as a simple family meal suddenly turned into an ostentatious Christmas feast as he excitedly kept adding to the menu. Before long, I was expected to prepare lobster (did I mentioned I have never cooked lobster), fish, turkey, shrimp, ham, and more side orders than I care to remember.
To make it worst, I got caught up in his excitement and was struck with what I considered to be a brilliant idea: since my cousins weren’t going home for the holidays as well, why not make a family meal of it. I would cook for us all.
My cousins accepted the invitation and I immediately regretted it. I could just see the headline:
Wife’s Christmas day dinner kills husband and cousins
There was no backing out now. Thankfully, my sister-in-law who was also planning to cook happily agreed to split the preparation of the meals. She would take the turkey and a few side dishes and I would do the rest.
I am going to take a moment right here to just say that YouTube is the best thing creation since slice bread! Correction: it is the best creation since the internet!
By the time it got to Christmas Eve, I had a mini nervous breakdown and it wasn’t just because of the rocketing grocery bill (by the way, when did it become so expensive to eat?!)
After working myself into a panic, I asked myself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Worst comes to worst, there is always a bucket of chicken to the rescue.
Soon it was Christmas day, and before the crack of dawn, I was up and out of bed fervently praying that at the very least the meal would be edible.
A friend in need is truly a friend indeed as I kept my girlfriend on speed dial as she patiently walked me through the instructions to prepare lobster.
For everything else, there was YouTube.
I imagine that the discovery of all my recipes on YouTube could be likened to what the Israelites felt when they awoke to find quail around their camp after being fed with only manna for so long. I could fast-forward, rewind, pause or stop each video to my heart’s content (yes, I know the use of those terms are dated). I could truly follow each recipe step by step. I mean it’s really like cooking for dummies.
I asked myself the question every young modern-day wife has asked herself: How did our parents ever survive with only a cookbook?
Then there was my husband, who kept hovering about, snapping photos of the food in its various stages of preparation and uploading to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter like he was contracted by a Food Magazine.
Dear Lord, I ask for your intervention as I fight the urge to knock this man out with this Dutch pot.
Many hours later, it was all done and I can proudly say, I not only cooked Christmas dinner, I slayed it! (Well, we slayed it.)
In in what can only be described as an Oscar award-winning performance, I would like to take the time to thank God for those wonderful people who created YouTube, for giving YouTube users the insight to post those recipes and most of all for preserving my family so that they may live to enjoy yet another Christmas meal.
I’ll grudgingly admit that cooking was a lot better than my two piece KFC meal last Christmas. I may have even felt warm and fuzzy inside watching my family enjoying the meal.
That said, can anyone recommend a good caterer for Christmas day? (Don’t judge)