Twenty-four things I wished I knew before getting pregnant

So, I’m browsing the internet minding my own business when I stumbled upon new research which shows that women lose 90% of their eggs at age 30. WTF? Seriously!

My eggs. Yep, they are pretty much all dying :(

My eggs, yep, they are pretty much all dying 🙁

Apparently, we are born with around 300,000 eggs and we pretty much lose them as we go along. At age 30 there are about 12% left! If this is true, remind me again, what’s all the fuss about teenage pregnancy? If science is anything to go by, we should all be popping out kids, way before 30!

In my panicked state, I thought maybe I should start working on my own brood right away. Certainly, if I wait any longer I may be egg-less! Talk about biological clock! Tick.Tock. But, before jumping into the unknown world of pregnancy, I decided to do my own research -- which brings me to you my dear readers.  My question to you was what are some of the things you wished you knew before getting pregnant?

I’d like to pause here to tell all you amazing moms who decided to share, take a moment and pat yourself on the back. You've scared me SHITLESS! So now, I‘d rather take my chances with my DYING eggs! THANK YOU VERY MUCH 🙂

(Mind you, it wasn’t all horror stories. There are those of you who shared the joys of being pregnant (that’s for another blog post) and those who had great tips (for yet another blog post) but before I get to those, here are the 24 reasons my eggs have gone into hiding, literally!

In your own words:

 I wished that someone had told me that …

1. Ice-cravings were not normal!  I craved ice to the point where a bag of party ice was on my weekly grocery list. At work, most persons had tea and water delivered to them in the mornings. I, on the other hand, ordered a pitcher of ice, daily.

2. Pregnancy glow would not naturally make me look attractive, cute or well put together unless I actually put some effort into it.

3. I would not be able to see my vagina after several months without the aid of a mirror. Yikes!

4. I would not be able to explain why I was crying while watching a horror movie, and that my mood swings would be more turbulent than the Titanic.

5. In the last two months my vagina would feel as if I’d  been kicked in there a thousand times!! Hurts like hell.

6. I would feel like I was possessed. Oh my! I have a little person inside me! Get the hell out. I want my body back. Arrggghhh!


Get out I say!

7. This "eating for two" stuff is bullsh*t. I ate for two and it took me four years to lose the baby weight.

8. The person who came up with the phrase "morning sickness" deserved to be shot because there isn’t anything morning about that sickness. It’s morning, noon and night!

9. I would be have ghastly stretch marks that would cost at least $400,000 to correct. Damn!

10. My nipples would feel like they had a million ants on them -- swollen beyond recognition!

11. I would laugh and pee, talk and pee, sneeze and pee, basically, that I would always be peeing!

12. I should never have watched a childbirth video before I gave birth. It will scare you sh*tless!!!

13. Yes! Your nose can actually get bigger than it already is.

14. My experience would be wonderful... until I couldn’t sleep on my belly anymore, until I watched my belly become a road map to nowhere, until back pain was the only language I knew, until that baby kicked my vagina into oblivion and my vajay-jay was swollen like I was stung by an army of bees!

15. Postpartum depression is very real. It doesn’t matter if you have the most supportive, loving partner and relatives, you may still feel like the world is on your shoulders for weeks after giving birth.

16. Warts pop out of nowhere -- on the areola, face and neck. And, that my vagina would be continuously swollen, even after three months.

17. I’d have many embarrassing flatulent moments.

18. The icky truth that nothing I saw in my panties would surprising anymore. An increase of milky discharge (leucorrhea) is not uncommon because your body is producing more estrogen, which leads to more secretions from the cervix and vaginal walls.

19. I would experience an awful metallic taste in my mouth, have hemorrhoids and find it difficult to breathe when the baby pushed himself up under my ribs.

20. I’d have to say goodbye to those very perky breasts! What a transformation?! Bras won’t save you!

21. My hormones would turn me into a sarcastic demon striking fear into family and friends.

22. After six to seven  months, being pregnant is no longer cute. You literally want it over and done with.

23. I would be sick for most of my pregnancy, lose a lot of weight and make several trips to the ER. I had to take time off from work and a semester off from school.

24. Babies do not actually come on their due dates, they arrive when they want to!

So there you have it! Do you have any pregnancy woes you'd like to share?

27 Responses

  1. Thanks for Traumatizing me all over again. My sisters once told me and my cousin about the process of child birth and I was so terrified. My cousin decided right then and there she wasn’t having kids. The part I dread the most is that pooing when the baby comes thing I hear so many mothers often speak of. Its not fair to have a human ripping through your body then to be embarrassed on top of that because you cant control what the heck is going on with your rectum.

    • Lecia-Gaye Taylor

      Oh no! Sorry darling. There is another post which actually shares all the great things about being pregnant and some are pretty awesome.

  2. Sitty B

    Where are the nice stories in the 25???? My pregnancy was awesome + number 22 🙂

  3. Camelia

    Okay then… I pity the women who served as your sources. I just had my first child and my pregnancy was wonderful! Yes there were some unpleasant moments but what in life comes without challenges? Everyone’s experience is different so be not disheartened. Feeling him move and respond to you then actually meeting him- there are no words to describe how awesome that is. Eating for two is unwise (you only need an apple and 2spoons peanut butter to get the additional 300calories), I didn’t and I’m back in much of my pre-pregnancy size 4 clothes 4months after delivering. Strangers being excited and offering advice was refreshing, it reminded me of how positive people can be. Not everyone gets morning sickness, a huge nose, stretchmarks, warts, hemerrhoids, ugly, swollen, etc. I only got a few stretchmarks and suffered from mild exhaustion. Breastfeeding is amazing bonding (plus it keeps your baby healthy while helping you shed the weight); forget perky breasts, if they mean that much to you fix them when you’re done. I’m still lactating so I’ll see how mine look when my son has been weaned. If pregnancy was as bad as these women let on, the labour ward would be empty

  4. lol! My husband and I are trying for a child and This entry scared the crap out of me!!! :O

  5. Tia Lindner

    Lecia I had my first child at 19, the experience wasnt too bad since I was drugged up during delivery, by the way I was induced, second time around at 26 it was horrific I was also induced but I felt every striking pain all ova mi likkle maga body…..dwl!!! I must say though I would do it all over again because the good Lord blessed me with two beautiful children…..go ahead sista, get ur preggers on!!!

  6. Nadia

    I did it twice and would again if my body / health could manage it …. but good God … could the farting STOP!!!! even now it still plagues me … out of no where CRAZY!!!

  7. Congratulations Monique! Wishing you a safe delivery. Please keep us updated whenyour bundle of joy arrives.

  8. I am currently pregnant, and i must say, i have nothing more to add to this you have said it all….

  9. Queenie

    So Leece, my Mom had me at 32, my sister Shereene at 35 and my brother at a terrific 40! All healthy wonderful pregnancies. My Aunt, (my mother’s sister) had her first child at 35 and her second at 39. And she’s thinking about a third at 43. Growing up I always said I wouldn’t be like my Mom and wait so late to have children but at 30 and without a husband to be in the picture I might have to consider freezing some eggs before they are all scrambled!!!!

  10. Tanesha

    The worst part about being pregnant for me was the healing after because I got snipped (episiotomy). Every visit to the bathroom was excruciating. But I would go through it all over again…I enjoyed being pregnant.

  11. […] reading my last blog post my BFF Netty had this to […]

  12. simoriea

    Dont worry yourself, every woman has a different experience, one thing i know when i was pregnant that was the best 42 weeks of my life, the only scary part was thinking about delivery day, yet i wasnt bad afterall i slept through it.

    • @ Simoriea, does that mean you did a C-section? There are a few women who do seem to have enjoyed the experience so that’s comforting!

  13. Sherine

    K Lecia I have known you since high school so here is the truth about pregnancy. I didnot enjoy being pregnant but here in canada oh these women love it. I didn’t have craving and didn’t eat for two since I drank my way threw the pregnancy hence my limited weight gain. I was not cute my nose got huge at about 7mths in. By the way constipation is a bitch when your pregnant so its not just the pee its also the poo. It is also quite exhausting always tired. The thing I hated the most was strange people just walking up to me and touching my belly when i began to show. However, with all that said and the extremely painful labour after seeing my kid it was all worth it. Having a child changes you in some many ways and yes you body may never look the same and the older you get the harder it is get it back but it can be done and no the boobs will need a little plastic surgery but it won’t matter be that kid is gonna bring you such joy all totally worth it.

  14. This article scared the crap outta me first thing in the morning…..I’m approaching 30 and I been staring at that “CLOCK” recently….but bwoiee….

  15. Angie

    Hope to see the other blog soon! I’m a couple weeks a way from giving birth and even though I had very mild cases of all of the above it was actually very fun and there’s nothing like feeling someone move inside, responding to my touch and cuddling up under my rib cage ;-). Enjoying almost every moment of it!

    • Congratulations Angie!!!! You are one of the exceptions!

  16. Girl you’ll be fine I have a friend who had her first baby at age 38 or so, and low and behold the baby is smart, healthly and has good skin…you know what they say about getting pregnant old?!! Having a child is serious business though, it take a lot of time, money, love and most of all energy, so hurry up and wrap up that Attorney -at-Law career and get the ball a, you’ll be fine. By the way I had my son at age 23 and my duaghter at 28.

  17. Lecia it does not matter the age you get pregnant the horror stories are basically same but at 32 this year getting ready to plan my second child (1st one at 18) you have now resurrected my…. but then taking a look at my son and all his achievements i remember the first time i held him like it was yesterday the joys and comfort he has brought me these last 13 years so 12% of eggs or not i think all that is worth trying for again

  18. Nicole "Netty" Brown

    Lecia at 32 when i think i should get cracking and make a family, I must say that after reading this the hands of my biological clock automatically fell off and my eggs have been scrambled…..what a scare!!!! Lol lol.

  19. Ainka

    I had one healthy baby girl at 32. Don’t worry Lecia. Passing the 8 month mark is when you look at yourself in the mirror and say…”Who are you and what have you done to my body” Lol. But, I think the process besides the kicking in the ribs and the rolling to move and the not seeing your usually private part, since now your doc and maybe every intern has seen it but you.
    The joy of the eyes that stare you, the hands that caress you as they seek to learn the world from you, is beyond measure. So when you are good and ready you and Bucka will have quite a beautiful brood.

  20. Kennise

    I have to laud my mom, sisters, friends and the other women who have children. I especially don’t know women without partners or supportive partners do it. I wouldn’t want to get pregnant without a supportive spouse. I am going past my thirty mark and I still believe that if I eat healthy and exercise then it will happen when the right man comes along. My sis is having her first child at 31 and she’s been having a good pregnancy so far. My other sis- she was hilarious with her commentary of her “yucky” pregnancy moments. The experiences of the lead actress in the movie, “Due Date” I think sums up her journey. I still don’t know how to describe what I am feeling just now after reading this but big up to all the mom out there.

    • I couldn’t have said it better myself Kennise! Thanks for popping by!

  21. Leece, a lot of women get pregnant naturally in their 30’s, so I think you’re still good.