So, I’m browsing the internet minding my own business when I stumbled upon new research which shows that women lose 90% of their eggs at age 30. WTF? Seriously!
Apparently, we are born with around 300,000 eggs and we pretty much lose them as we go along. At age 30 there are about 12% left! If this is true, remind me again, what’s all the fuss about teenage pregnancy? If science is anything to go by, we should all be popping out kids, way before 30!
In my panicked state, I thought maybe I should start working on my own brood right away. Certainly, if I wait any longer I may be egg-less! Talk about biological clock! Tick.Tock. But, before jumping into the unknown world of pregnancy, I decided to do my own research – which brings me to you my dear readers. My question to you was: What are some of the things you wished you knew before getting pregnant?
I’d like to pause here to tell all you amazing moms who decided to share, take a moment to pat yourself on the back. You’ve scared me SHITLESS! So now, I‘d rather take my chances with my DYING eggs! THANK YOU VERY MUCH
(Mind you, it wasn’t all horror stories. There are those of you who shared the joys of being pregnant (that’s for another blog post) and those who had great tips (for yet another blog post) but before I get to those, here are the 24 reasons my eggs have gone into hiding, literally!
In your own words:
“I wished that someone had told me that …”
1. Ice-cravings are not normal! I craved ice to the point where a bag of party ice was on my weekly grocery list. At work, most persons had tea and water delivered to them in the mornings; I on the other hand, ordered a pitcher of ice, daily.
2. ‘Pregnancy glow’ will not make you look attractive, cute or well put together unless you actually put some effort into it.
3. I would not be able to see my vagina after several months without the aid of a mirror. Yikes!
4. I would not be able to explain why I was crying while watching a horror movie and my mood swings would be more turbulent than the Titanic.
5. In the last 2 months my vagina would feel as if I’d been kicked in there a 1000 times!! Hurts like hell.
6. I would feel like I was possessed … Oh my! I have a little person inside me! Get the hell out. I want my body back… arrggghhh!
7. This “eating for two” stuff is bullsh*t. I ate for 2 and it took me 4 years to lose the baby weight.
8. The person who came up with the words “morning sickness” deserves to be shot because there isn’t anything morning about that sickness… it’s morning, noon and night!
9. I would be faced with ghastly stretch marks that my doctor said would cost at least $400K to correct.Damn!
10. My nipples would feel like they had a million ANTS on them – swollen beyond recognition!!!
11. I would laugh and pee, talk and pee, sneeze and pee, basically, that I would always be peeing!
12. I should never have watched a childbirth video before I gave birth … it will scare you sh*tless!!!
13. Yes … your nose can actually get bigger than it already was.
14. My experience would be wonderful … until I couldn’t sleep on my belly anymore, until I watched my belly become a road map to nowhere, until back pain was the only language I knew, until that baby kicked my vagina into oblivion and my vajay-jay was swollen like I was stung by an army of bees!
15. Postpartum depression is very real and it doesn’t matter if you have the most supportive, loving partner and relatives, you may still feel like the world is on your shoulders for weeks after giving birth.
16. Warts pop out of nowhere – on the areola, face and neck. And, that my vagina would be continuously swollen after 3 months.
17. I’d have many embarrassing flatulent moments.
18. The icky truth is that nothing that I saw in my panties was surprising anymore. An increase of milky discharge (leucorrhea) is not uncommon because your body is producing more estrogen, which leads to more secretions from the cervix and vaginal walls.
19. I would experience an awful metallic taste in my mouth, have hemorrhoids and find it difficult to breathe when the baby pushed himself up under my ribs.
20. I’d have to say goodbye to those very perky breasts! What a transformation, bras won’t save you!
21. My hormones would turn me into a sarcastic demon striking fear into family and friends.
22. After 6-7 months, being pregnant it’s no longer cute; you literally want it over and done with.
23. I would be sick for most of my pregnancy, lose a lot of weight and make several trips to the ER. I had to take time off from work and a semester off from school.
24. Babies do not actually come on their due dates, they arrive when they want to!
So there you have it! Do you have any pregnancy woes you’d like to share?